Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Pump it up until you can feel it

The seasons have changed, the tides have turned, and the choir has sung halleluiah in the celebration of my graduation. I even have the paper to prove it.

And now, with this achievement strapped firmly under my belt, I find myself desperately seeking employment. Oh, how na├»ve I was! – Who knows if I can go to my graduation ceremony? I may have a job by then and be living halfway across the country in a fabulous 2 bedroom and working at a national magazine! Damn the current financial collapse and the fact that journalism is circling the drain! None of this applies to ME!

Needless to say, I am still unemployed three months later. I’ve gone on interviews, and have been contacted by a handful of companies for jobs that maybe I shouldn’t have applied for. I am ready to have a job, but I’m not sure if I’m willing to move my life, and my stuff, in order to copy edit standardized tests for about the same pay I got when I was 16 and working in retail.

I have descended into a daily routine that consists of compulsively searching for jobs about 100 times a day, and filling in the cracks with daytime television. Most of the week passes by in a zombie-like haze filled with computer headaches set to a soundtrack of audio brochures coercing me to change my life by attending college in my pajamas.

By the time Friday rolls around, I open my eyes for what seems like the first time all week, run a hand through my oil-slicked hair, and vow to rebuild.

In an effort to make it through this limbo without losing my mind to insanity or decomposition, I’ve taken up reading. I’ve always been a reader, but now I’m reading with a vengeance.

I just started my 8th book since graduation. The one’s I’ve read are:

  • Rant: An Oral Biography of Buster Casey by Chuck Palahniuk
  • The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle: A Novel by Haruki Murakami
  • The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
  • The Sharper Your Knife, The Less You Cry: Love, Laughter, and Tears at the World's Most Famous Cooking School by Kathleen Flinn
  • Anthem by Ayn Rand
  • Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
  • The Road by Cormac McCarthy

I just started Grendel by John Gardner the other day. For some reason I’ve always felt a kinship with his character. Sure, he hates people and eats human flesh – but he always seemed misunderstood, frail, and tormented – bullied by Beowulf and his meat-headed, frat-boy enthusiasm.

Aside from escaping to other worlds through reading the written word, I have joined a gym. For both my mental and physical health I’ve decided to get up off it and start running every day. My goal is to be able to run a half-marathon by my 26th birthday, which is in 3 months. Right now I’m able to run 5 miles straight before I fall over dry-heaving…so I’ve got a ways to go.


Steve said...

I so know how you feel Liz. Zombie like is definitely something I would use to describe most of my days as well.

I tried finding that "Sharper the Knife..." book, but it's not available in any library in the county. :( And being so low on fundage, I can't run to Borders and get it. How did you like it?

I would give anything to be at a gym as well. I tried getting a membership for Christmas, but to no avail. Everytime I make some money it seems that there are more pressing things to spend it on. *sigh*

At any rate, I will still do my best to come see you as soon as I can. As said before, the money thing really sucks for me. Hope you find better luck with the job search hon.

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