Yesterday I attended my cousin Brian's wedding on a military base in Alexandria, VA. I had never been on a military base before and was interested to see what it was like. After driving a quarter of a mile down a tree lined road towards the main gate we were stopped and each adult in the car had to show a picture ID. After they were scanned like so many cans of creamed corn, we were allowed thru to drive around an all inclusive self contained picturesque town, not unlike Pleasantville. There was a chapel, a school, a multipurpose activity field with several metal bleachers, and loads of perfect brick houses with American flags adorning their porches while mom's watered the tanbark. We arrived at the chapel in time to congratulate the father of the groom (a.k.a. Uncle Dickie), and then shuffled into the church and crammed into a pew. While waiting for the ceremony to start, I observed the setting and made mental notes of the giant stained glass window of George Washington that occupied the spot on the altar where Jesus usually has dibs, and the neck art of a gentleman in front of me which read "Horn Dog". The ceremony was very lovely and both the bride and groom got through their vows without blubbering like a 12 year old at a matinée of "Titanic". At one point a cup of water from both Wendy and Brian's hometowns were mixed in a vessel as a symbolic gesture of their lives becoming one. I thought it was a beautiful idea, and I wondered later what was done with the united water. I came to the conclusion that their love probably watered a patch of grass in the back of the church. Ahh...the circle of life. Upon leaving the church as man and wife, Brian and Wendy walked under a line of men pointing swords towards the sky and I was relieved when they both made it thru with only a slap on the butt for Wendy with the broad side of the last sword. Very dignified. Next it was on to the reception in a beautiful hall with a panoramic view of the Potomac. Matt, Holly, Ben, Anne and I were seated at a table with a hilarious girl named Jen who indulged Matt in Zombie banter. As the night wore on, the open bar broke loose and my vision turned red from all the vodka and cranberries I consumed. What I do remember was dancing to MJ's "Thriller" with my mom in true zombie fashion, and using all the willpower I had to not place my face in the chocolate fountain. Overall, it was a really great wedding, and I am truly happy for both of them.